I’m going to assume this has happened to anyone who’s ever cuddled anyone and has a penis.
Source (find the exact comic yourself; at least I linked you to the webpage)
no, no, dont do this, please, if you are cuddling w/ me your boner is like a compliment and i welcome you to grind that shit into the back of my legs
if we are spooning and there isn’t a boner pressed into my butt I will assume you don’t actually like me and get really upset
(Note: I’m a female customer sitting in a pub. I’m approached by another male customer while I read a book.)Male customer: “Hello, my name is ***.”
Me: “That’s nice.”
Male customer: “So can I have your number?”
Me: “Oh. Actually, I’m gay.”
Male customer: “You want to have sex with women?”
Me: “Well, not right now. Right now, I just want to read my book.”
Male customer: “That’s bulls***! If you’re a lesbian then you want to have sex with women!”
Me: “Honestly, I just want to read my book.”
Male customer: “You’re lying to me, that’s very rude! I’m going to complain!”
Male customer, to a waitress: “That girl over there is being really rude. I want you to do something, it’s disturbing my day. She just lied to me and told me that she was a lesbian, and now she’s mocking me.”
Waitress: “What am I supposed to do about that? Make her straight?”
Male customer: “Just do something about it!”
Waitress, to me: “Hello, there.”
Me: “Hello. I’m sorry about him.”
Waitress: “Oh, it’s no problem! So, can I have your number?”
Male customer: *looks horrified*
Me: “Er, yeah, sure. Here.”
(I write my number on a napkin and she takes it, still smiling.)
Waitress, to male customer: “See? She’s a lesbian.”
Male customer: “That’s not what I wanted you to do! I didn’t want you to ask her out, I wanted you to make her leave! I demand to speak to your manager!”
Waitress: “Oh, he’s just popped out. I can get his boyfriend for you though if you want?”
Male customer: *storms out cursing*
(It turned out that the waitress was kidding about her manager, but she wasn’t kidding about asking me out!)
(via notalwaysright.com )
“the customer isn’t always right” stories are some of my favorite stories ever
every Doctor Who theme at once
This is how i felt when all the doctors joined together to save Gallifrey.
this would suit Capaldi perfectly
the opening sequence can just be this gif
I’ve never had goosebumps like that before…..my body was NOT ready…
because it’s not socially acceptable to chill in my living room in my girl underwear
i chill in my living room in my boy underwear
Did someone say chillin’ in underwear?!?!
That glass would go great with this bottle of wine!
fuck glasses let’s get bUCK IN HEEEEERE
WOAH HEY GIVE A GIRL SOME WARNING
damn i feel classy as FUCK
WOW WINE TASTES AWESOME IN A SOLO CUP
OH JOLLY GOOD
ARE WE BEST FRIENDS YET?
Did I just witness an Internet friendship being born
I don’t know what we just witnessed, but it was beautiful.
- Plot twist: You actually have someone who thinks you're attractive, and genuinely wants to be with you.